Can't sleep. I haven't been able to in days. We lost the baby. Most of the family knows (or at least the ones that keep up on our blog) I really wish I didn't have such a feeling of relief that was underlying this extreme sadness. There isn't even much to write about other than that.

Ugh.

I got a new phone yesterday. I finally broke my Blackberry addiction and decided to try a Droid. So far I am really impressed but I miss my blackberry messenger. I found an app that lists all the places that "kids eat free" so that when we go out to eat we aren't spending a fortune and an app that Gia can play with that has bubbles floating around on the screen and when she touches them, they pop. She loves it, and it is bubbles without the mess! But just like everything, it will get old and she will need something else to fascinate her.

I think I should probably just break down and take something to get some sleep. At least try. Goodnight all. I hope this finds everyone well. Keep in touch.

Beef, Bedtime and Bath

Today has been one of "those days" in the early days of pregnancy. Tonight, I felt awful. Ken got home and literally found me on the kitchen floor sobbing. I didn't have morning sickness this bad in either of my other two pregnancies. Not even close. I have broken blood vessels around my eyes. I finally broke down and called the doctor this evening for some nausea pills. They make me feel better, but also make me a little hazy. I don't feel like I am able to be sick or hazy for that matter around here anymore. Katie has come back full time and Ken has requested a couple of days of vacation to give me a break. Makes me feel like a failure. I know I am just being hormonal, but I just hate that right now I need help with everything and I haven't even begun to show.

So tonight, I was going to make a roast. It has been cooking most of the day, and it hasn't bothered me at all. About 6:15 I went in to check on it before Ken got home and I opened the oven and the smells wafted into my face and it absolutely turned my stomach over. I threw up in the oven. In the oven. I didn't even have time to turn to the side to the sink. So that would be when Ken found me on the floor. So we ordered pizza. Even worse is the fact that Ken had to clean up after me. :(

Bedtime has been a nightmare lately. We have had the kids on a pretty tight schedule since the beginning. It has been the only to survive sometimes. That has completely gone out the window. Gia is still awake. She is doing the exhausted whimpering, but she will not just give up. I sat with her from 8:00 to almost 9:30. Ken has been in there since, rocking her. We have an appointment with an ENT to check into getting tubes put in. They are worried about her speech and sound development because she has had so many ear infections. She seems miserable, but there is no infection. The doctor has checked everything out. And as a result, everyone is thrown off. Noah wakes up almost every three hours like clockwork. And we have had to move Violet and Jackson into the same room because that is the only way we can get anyone under the age of 2 to sleep.

Even more awesome than all of that. Our bathtub that we had installed before we moved to this house has a leak. And unfortunately, it is in a bathroom that we don't use all that often. We didn't notice the extra water until it was soaking through the ceiling in Noah and Violets room. Ugh, so to add to the bedtime confusion, we have enormous fans running to dry everything out. Not exactly quiet either.

On the bright side... we accepted an offer on the old house. Much lower than what we wanted, but we are trying to avoid paying taxes and insurance and everything else involved on two separate houses. So that is a relief.

Gia is crying and my nausea meds have suddenly worn off. Back to reality. Goodnight...hopefully will be saying that soon.

SDG