And then there were 5...

My post won't be all that long today. I am exhausted and frustrated and just plain sad. K left. No explanation, no nothing. Just a "sorry, I can't do this anymore..." and that was it. I have no idea what happened, nothing I can point to to explain his behavior. None of it makes sewnse. The counseling was going well. I felt like we had a rhythm in our routine with the kiddos and that was making things a little less hectic. I have been a mess for the last 3 days, not hearing from him at all. His family has all called me trying to figure out where he is and what is going on. It is so painful. KN has been hired back full time and my mom is here helping. Being sad and having 4 kids depending on you does not mix well.

G keeps asking for her daddy and then will come up to me and ask "ok, mommy? ok?" She is very worried....so am I. All the other kiddos seem somewhat oblivious, although J was really taking to K as far as who he prefers to rock him to sleep, feed him, etc. He has not been the happiest camper lately.

I truly am scared for the first time since we heard about V's heart about what the future will hold. It makes me furious sometimes and others I am just sad. I of course can't sleep when I should be sleeping when all of the hooligans are down, and so 2 sleepless nights have not been helpful in any aspect.

I shoot an engagement portrait session this afternoon and I don't even feel like going. Hard to capture the excitement of entering into marital bliss when my marital status is pending. Ugh. I need a shower and then off to pull some magic out of my camera bag in hopes that I can deliver what they are looking for. More soon.

SDG