Big surprise

Well, most of the family has been informed, so its an all clear to post.

We are expecting baby number 5, due February 23rd. Surprise!

After taking 7 tests, I have finally gave in to the idea and made an appointment with the doctor. We prayed for the blessing of children. And almost 3 years, and 4 kids later, here we are again. Be careful what you pray for, huh? I am terrified, very grateful, but terrified because we were supposed to be done. I have been back on the pill, we have taken every precaution. And as a mom, I feel guilty. I feel like my pit of my stomach feeling about this is wrong, is terrible...because even though we are excited, it is still one of those things where I just want to look up at God and be like "Seriously?" And I can't really figure out what that feeling is (other than the morning sickness). I hate that it makes me scared and sad. I don't want to use the word regret, but that lump in my throat and the tears that are streaming from my face right now certainly feel a little like it. I feel a little panicked, Ken and I are having this silence between us, because I think both of us are avoiding saying anything wrong, saying anything that wouldn't be kosher to say.

All the same, we are very happy. Ken and I are doing really well and I have finally started to feel like we are getting back to the way things were between us B.K. (before kids). I am scared that our marriage can't take it though. We are finally getting back on our feet.

I do want to say that I have never been one to consider terminating a pregnancy. I hope that in reading this, it is not seen as though I am thinking this.

I am exhausted and should try to get some sleep. Just keeping you all up to date.

sdg

A Quick Birthday post

Just wanted to share the morning of their birthday. Split screen created via photoshop. :)

Date Night (a while ago!)

Ken and I went to the Red's game vs. the Cardinals. A lot of fun! I love this picture of Ken, not so much of me, but one that was printed and framed. We bought bleacher seats and walked around a lot. We met up with a bunch of my sorority sisters from college at our old hangout. It was kind of sad. I miss them so much. The other pictures were taken with my point and shoot, being that my good camera is in "the shop" being fixed, it was all I had. Pretty good zoom on the thing though and relatively clear for how far back we were standing.

The kiddos stayed with Mamaw and Pop Pop and spent a lot of time by the pool that day. Violet got a nasty sunburn. Ken's step mom felt AWFUL!! It wasn't too bad. She has very delicate skin, she would have been pink regardless of how much SPF you applied. All of the kids are going to swimming lessons at the boat club. All still with floaties, but all of them but Noah love the water. He is still a little tentative about it.

We have found that "DATE NIGHT" has been critical lately. To give us a little of the sanity of being just us for a while. Kind of reminds me how it was before adding to our brood so quickly. Gia has been to a couple of games, but buying 6 tickets and hotdogs and popcorn and peanuts and drinks and cotton candy gets crazy expensive!!!

Ken grew up 4 miles away from the high school that Scott Rolen went to, who is a player on the Red's. Every time we watch a game he reminds me that he pitched to him and struck him out a bunch of times. Ken was "drafted" out of high school, but decided to go to college instead. After college, his mom got very sick, and now, he says he is way too old to pursue it anymore. Apparently 30 is ancient in baseball. I think he should at least try to walk on with the Louisville Bats, which is a Red's AAA team.

Things have picked up at work. Lots of wedding shoots. They are my favorite because it is literally an opportunity to catch some very raw emotion. My favorite pictures are always when the groom sees his bride for the first time when she is walking down the aisle. The look on every single one of their faces is priceless.

Spaghetti for dinner tonight, a family favorite. It is hard to live up to Grandma's though. I try, but generally it's P.rego from a jar and box noodles. It is a lot of work to make real Italian spaghetti. Especially for 6!! I will have to post pictures of our vegetable garden sometime soon. We are growing a bunch of tomatoes, peppers and cucumbers. Gia has already tried to go out and eat green ones off of the vine.

Time to start cooking. I am getting some grumpy kiddos and a crabby daddy. More later.

sdg

40 LBS!!!! I have been working on pound 38 and 39 for a good month now and it is officially official. I am down 40 pounds since Christmas. It feels great!! I have no much more to lose though. Atleast another 20. I have about 45 to get back to high school days, but that isn't necessary. Would just be nice to get back into a bikini. This is where I was before the twins. I could certainly wear one then, but I now have an ungodly amount of stretch marks that can be concealed much easier by losing just a little more.

I am seriously exhausted these days. Between the kids being speed demons, the new house, breaking a new filly and work, I haven't had time to myself at all, except when I go running. (Hence pound 40!) It has been my only escape. Ken is calling me out to the porch. More later!! Just wanted to share my excitement, :)

sdg

It's been a crazy ride

It's been a while. I believe that since my last post TONS has happened. The twins turned 1, the Derby was AMAZING...so much more.

Ken and I are renewing our vows in Italy this September (or at least that is the plan). That is where we went on our honeymoon and after coming back we realized how much stuff we missed because we were enjoying being a married couple. So we are going to Rome and taking a night tour of the Vatican museum.

Got the idea here

After the tour we will be renewing our vows in the Sistine Chapel. I have NO IDEA how Ken pulled this off, because there has to be SOMETHING saying that it isn't allowed. Sad thing though. Being the Sistine Chapel...No pictures :( They don't allow you to even take cameras in. Last time they made us empty the batteries before entering the chapel. It makes me sad as an art geek, a photographer (if I can even call myself that), and a 2nd bride that the memories won't be preserved at the exact moment. Pretty sure it will be unforgettable though. VERY EXCITED!!!

The Derby was fantastic! Ken is part of the PR/Marketing team, so we had a whole different experience this year. I wish Ken hadn't had to do the work thing though. It was a lot of the "trophy wife" feeling that I get at the debutante balls and the white glove tea parties, but all the same we were able to take part in a lot of the events that are restricted to staff and celebrities. The Barnstable Brown Gala is always a coveted ticket. We have never been but it was a requirement of the Derby PR team to be there so I was along for the ride. I really was out of my league and felt like the little kid at the grownup table. The highlight of the night... I "met" Usher. Quotation marks are very much appropriate because I really don't have much of a recollection of the entire thing, except my 7th grade fantasies playing in my head of his 18 pack and beautiful smile. I seriously was probably a blubbering fool. He did some kind of toast and after clinking my glass against his I kept thinking, seriously? I am really drinking mint juleps with Usher!?! It was very surreal. Ken made fun of me the rest of the night.

We had the joint birthday party for the kids, which I have come to realize is just a party for the parents with naked babies covered in cake and frosting. It was very fun though. Family and friends, grilling out. It was a blast. Violet was especially funny. Blue icing EVERYWHERE! Even in her ears!! I am not sure if we really truly got her clean until a weeks worth of baths were complete. I will say that it seemed to spark a little sibling rivalry in Gia. She was not very happy at the prospect of not being the center of attention.

Ugh. We have a kiddo awake. I have no idea what the deal is. Noah will not sleep more than a few hours at a time. More soon if I can steal away some moments. Miss all of you. Hope all is well.

sdg