Happy Thanksgiving!

So many things to be thankful for. First I do want to thank all of my readers for your love and support. As much as we have been through in my starting this blog, I have been fortunate to feel close to people all over the country and I truly feel in some way, that you guys are close friends. So I am thankful for you.

Above all, of course I am thankful for my beautiful children, my wonderful husband, an extended family that will never get enough credit for all that they do. The people in my life certainly sweeten the deal here. I am so blessed to have them. Of course, a person that we will forever be indebted to is our nanny Katie. Without her, I am not sure how we would get through outings and even every day life. From the beginning of this journey in expanding our family, she has truly been our saving grace. I feel like she is not only a part of my family, but a friend as well. I am so proud to have her as a part of our lives.

Other things that come to mind:

A new job where I actually enjoy going each day

My phone, as silly as it sounds and as much trouble as I have had with it, my LIFE is stored in there.

Our Dogs

Mr Clean magic eraser...I don't know how a mom of toddlers does without it

Rachael Ray...not only have I improved my cooking skills, it has made me really love cooking, a great hobby to have

Bamboo yarn...another hobby, so soft for blankets, scarves, sweaters...heck, anything that you want to be soft

Wine (duh)

Modern Family...Ken and I looooooove this show. Hilarious!

Fantasy Football...another thing that has brought Ken and I together. As much as I kind of hated it last season, I am addicted now, and it is fun to share that with him.

A new house, a new place to explore, and the beautiful scenery that surrounds us. Truly awe inspiring.

Moroccan Oil hair serum. Smells wonderful, makes my hair extremely shiny.

Crest White Strips, they really do work :D

So much more I am sure, but now I must go back to writing my paper, and preparing for family to arrive tomorrow for a Thanksgiving in Boulder. Have a wonderful holiday.

sdg

Keeping up with the....

Kids. Watching reruns of Keeping up with the Kardashians, hence the title. (embarrassed to admit it, but this show is kind of my celebrity "smut" fix. But seriously...

Holy crap it has been a crazy crazy day. Keeping up is truly exactly what I did. My helpers are both completely sick, Katie and Ken have been in bed all day, leaving me with all the kiddos to chase around. I have quarantined the two of them to the guest house so that the rest of us might be spared. I didn't have a clue how fortunate I was in having people to help me with the brood. Gia was in a horrible mood all day today, and has taken to hitting her brothers and sister if the mood strikes her. I d

on't know how many times I said "We don't hit people we love" today. We spent a lot of time in timeout today. So aggravating, especially because spending the time dragging her back and forth to timeout (when she refused to stay there) was keeping me from keeping an eye on the other three. In the meantime, Jackson got stuck behind the couch...we need some more babyproofing I think, because by the time I was able to get him out he was gasping because he was crying so hard. He panicked...absolutely panicked. Poor kid. It took me a long time to get him completely calmed down. Noah and Violet were so worried, they both started getting upset...it was like a domino effect.

Yesterday we took a trip into the mountains and drove around Rocky Mountain National Park. We saw a ton of wildlife and had to wait for a moose to get out of the road to pass. It was huge and a little scary too. See the pictures above. Incredible. The kids slept through the second half of the trip, but Ken and I had so much fun...it was so peaceful and eerily quiet when you are used to 4 little voices interrupting your every thought. We didn't even have the radio on at all. We got high enough in the mountains that we saw a little snow. Gia loved that. She kept pointing at it and wanting us to take her over to it. I just can't imagine how everything is going to be when we get 12 inches or more.

I need to quit procrastinating and get some work done. Working on a presentation for a big client for Wednesday when all I want to be doing is planning our Thanksgiving. Hope everyone has a wonderful holiday!

M.I.A.

We have been missing IN ACTION. So sorry guys. I have received your emails, just haven't mad any time to get on the computer until now. I capitalize IN ACTION because we have been so incredibly busy. We went back to Ohio and Kentucky the last two weeks to visit family. Ken, Jackson and Gia stayed behind to get quality time with mamaw and popop Smith. I had to come back for work, and brought the twins with me because they had doctors appointments with our new pediatrician.

So the trip recap. Ohio for a week and then Kentucky for a week. It was a whirlwind and we didn't fit everything in, at all. But it was a good visit. Ohio started with a huge family weekend on the lake, some fishing...so much fun. The kiddos loved the boat... I was a nervous wreck, even with everyone in life jackets...I needed a big glass of wine after that, but it was great to watch Gia "drive" the boat...that was her favorite part. After the boat, we went back to the house and ate...and ate....and ate....food comas then ensued and I actually got a relatively good nights rest (first in 3 years it seems like!) because not only were we stuffed and lethargic, but the day in the sun on the boat took a lot out of us all.

Ken and I went to a Halloween party the next night with old friends. It was wonderful to see everyone. It is one of those things that you can count on every year. Same place, 2nd weekend of October...bring a costume and finger food. Picture below. :)

Dorothy and the scarecrow. Ken's "makeup" lasted all of 10 minutes and then he washed it off. We had a great time, nice to get away. I took a picture of my shoes later that night...only because I knew that pictures wouldn't show them. They were a great find....8 dollars in the Walmart kids department. :)

4 years ago this same party lasted until 4am. This year? Midnight. We are all getting old with kids that wear us out...big time. No longer drinking games or jello shots...we share pictures of our kids and drink tea. Boring? Not one bit. Just different. The kids stayed with the grandparents for the night.

Kentucky brought more of the same...eating...friends...family. We went to Mammoth Cave and went to the Science center to see the Pirate exhibit with Gia and then Ken and I saw a movie at the IMAX. It always makes me feel a little dizzy watching movies there. We only had 3 days in Kentucky, so it was sad for the twins and I to have to go, but its great that Ken gets to have a week with his family and Gia and Jackson get a chance to hang out with his side of the family.

Yesterday being a lazy Sunday off, the kids and I went to the park. We had to bundle up because it was a little chilly for them. They had a blast! I have been trying to take more pictures of outings and every day life...maybe going to start a flickr...it might be easier to keep up with than a blog. We shall see. Below is one of my favorites. :)

They love each other. All of you other twin mommies...do you feel like they have a different kind of bond with each other? It has been more and more apparent to me as the kids play all together. It's like they have a constant inside joke together or something.

Enough for tonight. I have work to do for a new account that I could be closing on this week. Cross your fingers for me...this could mean a big time promotion, but at least some good money. Have a wonderful evening ladies. :)

sdg

Moving on in...

Well well well...so here we are. New house, new city, new start! We are out in Boulder. Yes, we have moved again. We have been very very busy between new jobs and a new house. Ken is doing the Mr Mom thing for right now and I am back to work. I found a great marketing position at a firm in Denver that has offices around the world. It fit me exactly and after many different things in recent months, it was time for a fresh start. So why Colorado? Why not!

But seriously, we decided that we needed to make a city our own instead of being known for the family. The job was a tipping point, but we have been looking out here for a while. We still have both houses in Louisville...the original is still for sale with three price drops. It is definitely not a sellers market. Not with our luck anyway.

By the way, the picture above is the new house. 7 much needed bedrooms. Katie is still in Louisville finishing up her degree. She has applied out here for grad school and will be out here in a couple of weeks to join us. I am soooooooo grateful for her! How wonderful to find someone so committed to our family. She is excited from what I can see and I think she seems to be excited for the adventure. I have double and triple checked with her that this was going to be ok, because as much as I would love to have her a part of our family as our nanny (if you can even call her that anymore) forever, I have to face the reality that she is pursuing a graduate degree for a reason, not just to be able to be our nanny for the next 10 years. Although we would love that too. I feel like she is one of our kids and I consistently feel so proud of her and what she has accomplished and her aspirations for the future.

Ken and I are doing well. A breath of fresh mountain air has given a new life to the work that we are doing on our marriage. We have family out here, but we are essentially on our own out here so we are really having to rely on each other. Being that he is home with the kiddos for right now, he has a new found respect for what I was doing when he was working....which I think has been helpful as well. I REEEEEEALLY want to do the whole "told you so" routine with him talking about how hard it is with the brood. But I won't... I say it in my head though on a regular basis though.

Gia is become quite the photog now. After coming along with me to shoots, she thinks that she is a model or will say "mommy picture, picture mommy" everywhere we go. She turned two soon after we got out here, so we are officially in the terrible twos! And that is a serious understatement. It's almost terrifying to see how spoiled she thinks she is now. Absolute fits when she doesn't get what she wants. I think a lot of it is being in a big family and having to compete for attention. We try for that to not be the case, but with four, it is just not possible to be everywhere all at once. She also has had tubes put in since the last time I wrote. NO MORE EAR INFECTIONS!!

Jackson absolutely loves the new house. It is kind of a big circle in the downstairs, so its a race track for him to "run" around. He loves to chase the dogs around the track too.

Noah has gone completely mute. He was a chatterbox and then about a week before we moved, we get NOTHING. I called one of my sorority sisters because she is a speech therapist and she said not to worry because it is probably just in reaction to the move. Violet has made up the difference though. I don't know if it is the twin connection, or if it is just her playing "mom" but she talks FOR him, pretty much what he would tell us anyway. I am worried, but she assured me that its okay.

I need to get to bed. Even with the day off tomorrow, I have a ton to do! Hope everyone is doing well. I am exhausted!

Can't sleep. I haven't been able to in days. We lost the baby. Most of the family knows (or at least the ones that keep up on our blog) I really wish I didn't have such a feeling of relief that was underlying this extreme sadness. There isn't even much to write about other than that.

Ugh.

I got a new phone yesterday. I finally broke my Blackberry addiction and decided to try a Droid. So far I am really impressed but I miss my blackberry messenger. I found an app that lists all the places that "kids eat free" so that when we go out to eat we aren't spending a fortune and an app that Gia can play with that has bubbles floating around on the screen and when she touches them, they pop. She loves it, and it is bubbles without the mess! But just like everything, it will get old and she will need something else to fascinate her.

I think I should probably just break down and take something to get some sleep. At least try. Goodnight all. I hope this finds everyone well. Keep in touch.

Beef, Bedtime and Bath

Today has been one of "those days" in the early days of pregnancy. Tonight, I felt awful. Ken got home and literally found me on the kitchen floor sobbing. I didn't have morning sickness this bad in either of my other two pregnancies. Not even close. I have broken blood vessels around my eyes. I finally broke down and called the doctor this evening for some nausea pills. They make me feel better, but also make me a little hazy. I don't feel like I am able to be sick or hazy for that matter around here anymore. Katie has come back full time and Ken has requested a couple of days of vacation to give me a break. Makes me feel like a failure. I know I am just being hormonal, but I just hate that right now I need help with everything and I haven't even begun to show.

So tonight, I was going to make a roast. It has been cooking most of the day, and it hasn't bothered me at all. About 6:15 I went in to check on it before Ken got home and I opened the oven and the smells wafted into my face and it absolutely turned my stomach over. I threw up in the oven. In the oven. I didn't even have time to turn to the side to the sink. So that would be when Ken found me on the floor. So we ordered pizza. Even worse is the fact that Ken had to clean up after me. :(

Bedtime has been a nightmare lately. We have had the kids on a pretty tight schedule since the beginning. It has been the only to survive sometimes. That has completely gone out the window. Gia is still awake. She is doing the exhausted whimpering, but she will not just give up. I sat with her from 8:00 to almost 9:30. Ken has been in there since, rocking her. We have an appointment with an ENT to check into getting tubes put in. They are worried about her speech and sound development because she has had so many ear infections. She seems miserable, but there is no infection. The doctor has checked everything out. And as a result, everyone is thrown off. Noah wakes up almost every three hours like clockwork. And we have had to move Violet and Jackson into the same room because that is the only way we can get anyone under the age of 2 to sleep.

Even more awesome than all of that. Our bathtub that we had installed before we moved to this house has a leak. And unfortunately, it is in a bathroom that we don't use all that often. We didn't notice the extra water until it was soaking through the ceiling in Noah and Violets room. Ugh, so to add to the bedtime confusion, we have enormous fans running to dry everything out. Not exactly quiet either.

On the bright side... we accepted an offer on the old house. Much lower than what we wanted, but we are trying to avoid paying taxes and insurance and everything else involved on two separate houses. So that is a relief.

Gia is crying and my nausea meds have suddenly worn off. Back to reality. Goodnight...hopefully will be saying that soon.

SDG

Big surprise

Well, most of the family has been informed, so its an all clear to post.

We are expecting baby number 5, due February 23rd. Surprise!

After taking 7 tests, I have finally gave in to the idea and made an appointment with the doctor. We prayed for the blessing of children. And almost 3 years, and 4 kids later, here we are again. Be careful what you pray for, huh? I am terrified, very grateful, but terrified because we were supposed to be done. I have been back on the pill, we have taken every precaution. And as a mom, I feel guilty. I feel like my pit of my stomach feeling about this is wrong, is terrible...because even though we are excited, it is still one of those things where I just want to look up at God and be like "Seriously?" And I can't really figure out what that feeling is (other than the morning sickness). I hate that it makes me scared and sad. I don't want to use the word regret, but that lump in my throat and the tears that are streaming from my face right now certainly feel a little like it. I feel a little panicked, Ken and I are having this silence between us, because I think both of us are avoiding saying anything wrong, saying anything that wouldn't be kosher to say.

All the same, we are very happy. Ken and I are doing really well and I have finally started to feel like we are getting back to the way things were between us B.K. (before kids). I am scared that our marriage can't take it though. We are finally getting back on our feet.

I do want to say that I have never been one to consider terminating a pregnancy. I hope that in reading this, it is not seen as though I am thinking this.

I am exhausted and should try to get some sleep. Just keeping you all up to date.

sdg

A Quick Birthday post

Just wanted to share the morning of their birthday. Split screen created via photoshop. :)

Date Night (a while ago!)

Ken and I went to the Red's game vs. the Cardinals. A lot of fun! I love this picture of Ken, not so much of me, but one that was printed and framed. We bought bleacher seats and walked around a lot. We met up with a bunch of my sorority sisters from college at our old hangout. It was kind of sad. I miss them so much. The other pictures were taken with my point and shoot, being that my good camera is in "the shop" being fixed, it was all I had. Pretty good zoom on the thing though and relatively clear for how far back we were standing.

The kiddos stayed with Mamaw and Pop Pop and spent a lot of time by the pool that day. Violet got a nasty sunburn. Ken's step mom felt AWFUL!! It wasn't too bad. She has very delicate skin, she would have been pink regardless of how much SPF you applied. All of the kids are going to swimming lessons at the boat club. All still with floaties, but all of them but Noah love the water. He is still a little tentative about it.

We have found that "DATE NIGHT" has been critical lately. To give us a little of the sanity of being just us for a while. Kind of reminds me how it was before adding to our brood so quickly. Gia has been to a couple of games, but buying 6 tickets and hotdogs and popcorn and peanuts and drinks and cotton candy gets crazy expensive!!!

Ken grew up 4 miles away from the high school that Scott Rolen went to, who is a player on the Red's. Every time we watch a game he reminds me that he pitched to him and struck him out a bunch of times. Ken was "drafted" out of high school, but decided to go to college instead. After college, his mom got very sick, and now, he says he is way too old to pursue it anymore. Apparently 30 is ancient in baseball. I think he should at least try to walk on with the Louisville Bats, which is a Red's AAA team.

Things have picked up at work. Lots of wedding shoots. They are my favorite because it is literally an opportunity to catch some very raw emotion. My favorite pictures are always when the groom sees his bride for the first time when she is walking down the aisle. The look on every single one of their faces is priceless.

Spaghetti for dinner tonight, a family favorite. It is hard to live up to Grandma's though. I try, but generally it's P.rego from a jar and box noodles. It is a lot of work to make real Italian spaghetti. Especially for 6!! I will have to post pictures of our vegetable garden sometime soon. We are growing a bunch of tomatoes, peppers and cucumbers. Gia has already tried to go out and eat green ones off of the vine.

Time to start cooking. I am getting some grumpy kiddos and a crabby daddy. More later.

sdg

40 LBS!!!! I have been working on pound 38 and 39 for a good month now and it is officially official. I am down 40 pounds since Christmas. It feels great!! I have no much more to lose though. Atleast another 20. I have about 45 to get back to high school days, but that isn't necessary. Would just be nice to get back into a bikini. This is where I was before the twins. I could certainly wear one then, but I now have an ungodly amount of stretch marks that can be concealed much easier by losing just a little more.

I am seriously exhausted these days. Between the kids being speed demons, the new house, breaking a new filly and work, I haven't had time to myself at all, except when I go running. (Hence pound 40!) It has been my only escape. Ken is calling me out to the porch. More later!! Just wanted to share my excitement, :)

sdg

It's been a crazy ride

It's been a while. I believe that since my last post TONS has happened. The twins turned 1, the Derby was AMAZING...so much more.

Ken and I are renewing our vows in Italy this September (or at least that is the plan). That is where we went on our honeymoon and after coming back we realized how much stuff we missed because we were enjoying being a married couple. So we are going to Rome and taking a night tour of the Vatican museum.

Got the idea here

After the tour we will be renewing our vows in the Sistine Chapel. I have NO IDEA how Ken pulled this off, because there has to be SOMETHING saying that it isn't allowed. Sad thing though. Being the Sistine Chapel...No pictures :( They don't allow you to even take cameras in. Last time they made us empty the batteries before entering the chapel. It makes me sad as an art geek, a photographer (if I can even call myself that), and a 2nd bride that the memories won't be preserved at the exact moment. Pretty sure it will be unforgettable though. VERY EXCITED!!!

The Derby was fantastic! Ken is part of the PR/Marketing team, so we had a whole different experience this year. I wish Ken hadn't had to do the work thing though. It was a lot of the "trophy wife" feeling that I get at the debutante balls and the white glove tea parties, but all the same we were able to take part in a lot of the events that are restricted to staff and celebrities. The Barnstable Brown Gala is always a coveted ticket. We have never been but it was a requirement of the Derby PR team to be there so I was along for the ride. I really was out of my league and felt like the little kid at the grownup table. The highlight of the night... I "met" Usher. Quotation marks are very much appropriate because I really don't have much of a recollection of the entire thing, except my 7th grade fantasies playing in my head of his 18 pack and beautiful smile. I seriously was probably a blubbering fool. He did some kind of toast and after clinking my glass against his I kept thinking, seriously? I am really drinking mint juleps with Usher!?! It was very surreal. Ken made fun of me the rest of the night.

We had the joint birthday party for the kids, which I have come to realize is just a party for the parents with naked babies covered in cake and frosting. It was very fun though. Family and friends, grilling out. It was a blast. Violet was especially funny. Blue icing EVERYWHERE! Even in her ears!! I am not sure if we really truly got her clean until a weeks worth of baths were complete. I will say that it seemed to spark a little sibling rivalry in Gia. She was not very happy at the prospect of not being the center of attention.

Ugh. We have a kiddo awake. I have no idea what the deal is. Noah will not sleep more than a few hours at a time. More soon if I can steal away some moments. Miss all of you. Hope all is well.

sdg

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JACKSON!

So I think that I have put all security settings in place that I can start posting pictures again and talking a little more candidly about things.

So this is totally just a point and shoot random picture, but I love his eyes in this one. This was the other day in our new sunroom/playroom if you couldn't tell by the mountains of toys in the back. I will post pictures of the new house soon.

So today he is OFFICIALLY 1! And yesterday we had our first steps with this little guy! I cried, just like I did when Gia walked. My babies are growing up! Violet is very close to walking and Noah is curious but is completely content to be our little scooter.

Ken and I are reconciling...so far so good. It's still not all roses, but its better. We have our days. He has been burying himself in work with the Derby coming up. They released the new posters a couple of weeks ago officially at this big cocktail party (that during all of this I had to dress up and smile and act as though we were the perfect couple) at the track on Millionaires Row. So much fun, but definitely bad timing.

We are trying to decide if we are going to go to the fireworks that kick off Derby Festival with the whole brood. Most of them will probably be passed out by the time all the festivities begin, so I am not sure that the lugging of the strollers and toys and everything else down to the waterfront would be worth all the stress. Technically we still have the other house, so we could watch from the porch like last year. Decisions decisions.

Time for a portrait shoot with newborn twins. I will get a release signed for those to be posted if mom will let me. More later!

sdg

Back to Reality

Back from the spa, not really feeling much better. "Relaxation" doesn't always happen in a massage. I feel like I will have deep muscle bruises the way she man handled me. Felt good at the time, now, not so much. Picked up Gia and gasped from being sore and got the "Mommy ok?" and a terrible look from her that looked so worried. They all know something is up. Would never have any idea what, but they can certainly tell that something has changed. I can't even process it right now. He doesn't get out of work until 8 tonight because he has some training for the new marketing consultant. My imagination is running wild that it is going to play out like a movie, where the guy is screwing the best friend or the tennis pro or the hot secretary.

Part of me wants to call the number. I texted "Who is this" to the number, but no response. Besides, I have no idea what I would say or if I would just sit there wide mouthed or hang up like a 13 year old girl prank calling the history teacher.

It shouldn't be like this, right? I mean, wow, knowing each other for 8 years, dating 4, married for almost 4...it shouldn't be like this, right?

Devastated, but I am not sure if I even have the energy to do anything about it. We are moved in to the new house, so assets to be divided have multiplied substantially, since our buyer of the old house backed out. Then there is the kids. He makes much much more money than me, if there is a divorce, I am not even sure that I would get custody. I know it wasn't a mistake to stay home as a stay at home mom, but it also scares me immensely that I have given up income to be a good mom, only to lose the kids in the end for money reasons. I would hope not. The state always prefers the mother. Whether or not that is strong enough to get over the money, that is a whole different ball game.

I blame myself. I know I shouldn't. Have I let myself go? Or does he not find me sexy anymore because I am "just a mom" or is it being bored? Why would he feel like that would be a solution to any of those? Was I not good enough? I am not always the best "stepford wife" but I certainly make an effort. Maybe I fell short on his expectations and needed someone to fill these roles. I know that from a psychological standpoint, I am not being fair to myself...at all. It is his fault...HE made the choice, HE was the one that took the action. Ugh. I need a stiff drink. Katie is here and is doing dinner duty, along with the friends from the spa. Here I sit, and I feel absolutely immobilized, helpless and almost ashamed that I haven't seen this coming. "Drop it already" is what he said in a text today. "Sorry, but you are really making a big deal out of nothing" "You can track it, watch, I won't ever talk to her again, just watch the account"...how does he really think that I am that dense that I don't know that there are so many other ways to communicate outside his cell.

This is unreal. This is not my life. It doesn't fit into what was supposed to be next...and when did I get to be such a control freak...as though as anything goes as planned in this family.

I am rambling. I should probably put a smile on and take care of the kiddos. I can have a breakdown later.

FYI, one good thing: Stepped on the scale...down 25 lbs since Christmas. Excited about that! Unpacked a lot of my Spring clothes that were pre-babies, and I am actually almost back to where I was before...although I really think I have about 40 more lbs to lose to be happy with where I am.

More later I am sure. This may become my outlet, so please ignore the rambling posts in which I'll be over analyzing and falling apart.

Trust is vital in a successful marriage right? My stomach feels sick and I am trying to be the quiet strength that my mom was when we were kids. I think he is cheating on me. I found inappropriate texts on his phone, and after confronting him, he put a password on his phone. Then I look at our account online and he talks to her, texts her, send picture messages to her. So now what? When I confronted him this morning, all he said was that it wasn't the big deal that I was making it out to be. It is a big deal to me. I am half way between throwing up and crying and staring blankly at the wall. 2 of my good friends have arranged a sitter for the afternoon and they are taking me to the spa. I don't want to go to the spa. That means something is really wrong. Ugh.

He makes me more exhausted than the 4 kids do right now. I just want to sleep for 12 hours straight, but I can't. I laid in bed all night, staring at the ceiling. Violet was up most of the night because she is having some bad allergies. We are going to the doctor tomorrow. He is out of the shower. More later.

Not even a title to encompass everything from this one!

Hello hello out there!! It has been a long while. So much has happened! I am not even sure I can recap it all in the little time that I have tonight. First, the good stuff!!

We are approaching the one year mark for our"triplets" as most people call them. Jackson is first in April! Only a year ago, we were out in CA to meet Molly and Brian (whom we have reconciled with, more on that later). And I do remember being extremely miserable at about this time. So now the question becomes, birthday parties...any mom's have ideas this early in the game? I know that the 1st year party is more for the parents (selfishly) and then slowly but surely it becomes more about the kiddos as they grow up and get into school and friends and hobbies.

We are having a hard time deciding on what we should do since their birthdays are a little more than a month apart. For family purposes, I of course want everyone here, so I have a feeling that this year, we will be having one big party for all three! But part of me really feels guilty for doing that. It should be a special day for each of them. My mom did a joint birthday for my sister and I one year and we hated it. Our birthdays are about a month apart. Granted, we are three years apart, so it was a little different. It makes me ponder if they will all have the same friends and hang out in the same group, or if they are going to be as different as they seem to be now when they get older. I do feel a little guilty. Gia has a whole day to herself that is all about her. Jackson should too. And then, twin mommies, what have you done about making each kid feel special on their birthday individually. Most of you email me, feel free to comment on here too.

If we have a separate party for Jackson, it will be completely sports themed. He is a daddy's boy, and will watch ESPN all day with Ken if I let them. He will literally almost seem hypnotized...almost like his dad. Haha! Right now we have been watching all the round one games for the tournament. Ken took a personal day and I purposely didn't schedule any shoots for the day. A big family day. We gave Katie the day off. (NEVER did I realize how much of a silent help she is...I mean I realized a long time ago that we could never pay her enough for what she does for us, but it was eye opening today.) It was sooooo much fun though. We wore pajamas most of the day, watching the games, and when Ken deemed that there weren't games on that *we* cared about (of course I mean him) we took a family walk in the park (Ken with the three dogs and Gia, and me with the big stroller with Jackson, Noah and Violet.) Might I just say, I am sure EVERYONE in the park saw us coming a mile away and ran as fast as they could in the opposite direction. No, but seriously, it was quite the ordeal. Ken's stepmom came over in the afternoon for nap time and Ken and I went and got coffee and deli sandwiches at the coffee shop up the street. It sits on the river so we sat on the patio, in the sun and it was just a comfortable silence. Lovely. The weather was gorgeous. It was BC. Before Chaos! No, just kidding. About 3:30 we went back to a bustling house and spent all day playing and just being a family. It was a little crazy.

Gia has become a "runner". Way too early in my opinion. All over the place, she is pretty good, but frequently crashes, and that I really do mean. I am surprised that CPS hasn't been called because she always has a bruise from where she has fallen or run into something. She is a wild woman!

Big news! Jackson took his first steps last week. It has been pretty isolated. He is very timid, but really likes it when Mommy goes crazy for him! He is a little showman if you can get him going. And a huge grin on his face. Probably the biggest smile of all the kids. I really think he is gonna be a heartbreaker when he gets older. Such a gentle guy, but really finds everything hilarious and is quite the comedian at times! And I'll say it probably a million more times....OBSESSED with sports. I have no idea what it is, but it is really cute to see him and daddy having guy time. AND, he was full of milestones since I last wrote, he said his first "real" word. Yes, they all say momma and dada, but he said it plain as day: "ball". Ken and I both looked at each other and was like, really, did he really just say that? And then we both laughed hysterically because that WOULD be the word that Jackson says first. My little sports fan.

This is starting to be a novel. So much more to write!

We have reconciled with Molly and Brian, at least for now. It's still really hard to think about all the legal issues that we went through with them, but forgiveness is a beautiful thing...challenging, but it is a blessing. They want us to send pictures. I don't mind, but Ken is still leery. He is probably right, it might not be right to do that yet. We will see. I did enjoy catching up with them, as awkward as it was. Molly initially sent me an email with a million apologies and lots of questions. I hope that for Jacksons sake, things can get better.

And then there is the twins. Our little tornadoes! Violet is our fiesty one. And kind of a drama queen. She wears every emotion on her face plain as day. Noah is the opposite. Very stoic, we say he is being strong. It is darling though, when you can tell he is upset, he sucks on his bottom lip with tears welling up, but not a peep until he finally lets go. But he is very quiet, Violet's exact opposite. It takes a lot to get him upset. He almost seems like he is a wide old man. He has very knowing eyes. He is an old soul. And a mommy's boy.

Violet got a terrible burn on her legs a few days ago. I went out for a run with the three younger ones in tow, and they all were covered pretty well with clothing and by the shade of the stroller. Somehow her little pants and her sock got separated and her porcelain skin was exposed without sunscreen and she got a terrible sunburn. Blisters and all. It was 66 degrees out, beautiful day...it made me feel like the worst mom ever. It looks like a bad curling iron burn.

As a side note, please be in prayer for Ken's mom. She has advanced COPD and is not doing well. It's so hard. Ken's parents divorced when he was a baby, so all he has known until about high school was his mom. They are so close, and I can tell it is tearing him apart. We all kind of knew this day was coming sooner than we would like, but it seemed to kind of sneak up on us.

I know I have a ton more to write, but my little ladies man is awake...again. Jackson can't seem to stay asleep for more than a few hours at a time at the beginning of the night. I worry about it, but the pediatrician assured me that I have nothing to worry about. He is just getting more social and doesn't want to miss any of the action.

Oh, and we are moving officially into the new house after Thunder and before Derby. Hoping that we can use our porch for Thunder on the current house and the wonderful backyard in the new house for a Derby cocktail party. If it works out. I am not counting on it. Moving is one thing...moving 6 people, 3 dogs, a cat and 2 horses is an entirely different animal.

I will try to post more later. I need to attend to the social butterfly.

sdg

Lent

So I have decided. I am going to make it a goal to read the entire Bible, cover to cover in the 40 days going up to Easter. That is approximately 30 chapters a day. I might be a little out of my league here with 4 children, but this is the goal anyhow. Lots of extra prayers will be involved in getting this accomplished. Time for bed. More work tomorrow, almost a 9-5. Goodnight.

It is official!

I have lost 20 lbs since Christmas!!! I am so excited!!

I am down 2 pants sizes (the 2nd are a little tight, but they get buttoned, so they count right?) and I have had to get my wedding rings sized 3 times because of the weight loss. Fitting into clothes pre babies (since Gia really!!) I need to lose a lot more, but my goal is a bikini by August when we go back to Grandpas.

We have 7 inches of snow, and so of course down here, people have been panicked over it! It's nothing compared to New England and Washington DC. My parents in Cleveland have gotten 10 more inches as of Sunday! A good 3 feet there I think! Gia is loving the snow, she liked it last year, but mostly because Mommy and Daddy made such a big deal out of it! The twins and Jackson have no idea what to make of it, other than the tame sled riding we have been doing. Lots of belly laughs from all of them!

I am in the midst of thinking about what to give up for Lent. We are not Catholic, but it has always been a tradition. My mom is giving up Walmart. Which I think is HILARIOUS! Mostly because there isn't much left in the small town to do your shopping without Walmart. Any suggestions? With my diet, I have given up most sweets and have been very good about exercising. (going to the gym has become my "Mommy Time") The only thing I can think of in the food department is meat, but I don't think Ken would be crazy about going vegetarian with me. Leave your suggestions or send me a text. Time for Pilates!

A Colorful History

I have 10 minutes to post because I am coloring my own hair... we'll see how that turns out. By the way, grays coming at 26 aren't really welcome. According to my mom, when she met my dad he was already going gray. Ken has some silver hairs, but as most men say "he looks distinguished". So I am trying out a new color. I will let you know how it goes.

To catch you guys up:

We put an offer on a new house by the river and found out from the realtor today that that they have accepted our offer! Exciting!! It will be a while before we move in because there is a lot of babyproofing to do. And we found out this morning that previous owners have been Muhammed Ali and the guy who is CEO of Hooters! How weird is that! It bothers me a little bit that our names will be added to that "star studded list", because it seems so out of our league, but I guess that's what you get when you need at least 6 bedrooms and want a view and a horse barn. Still a little weird to think about though. Family is thrilled to have a bedroom to stay in and not just couches. Katie will be taking the "mother in law suite" over the barn so she has her own little apartment and can come and go as she pleases when we don't need her without parading around the house. It has 8 bedrooms in the house, 7 and a half baths and numerous fireplaces. Typing that I do really sound like we are out of our league.

If I haven't told the history of our families, please excuse me. My family owns a winery and has for almost 200 years now. It has done very well, so inheritances are awarded when a grandchild completes college. My dad's side of the family is part of the Smuckers (grape jelly...yes, those Smuckers). Ken's family have been tobacco farmers since before the civil war in Kentucky. It makes me think of Gone with the Wind when we go to family functions. Pretty entertaining, and kind of intimidating to marry into if you are required to take etiquette classes to attend.

Ken and I fell far from the tree. We went to state schools and not schools that our families have attended for generations. We moved here and bought a modest house, pursued careers and didn't touch the family money until just recently when we were undergoing fertility treatments for Gia. It got expensive and so we broke down and spent some of the trusts willed to us to pay for fertility treatments. After being blessed with 4 little ones, we have set up trust funds for each of them and savings for college. We purchased this new house with part of the inheritances so that we would have enough room for growing kiddos. After this though, the family money will be put aside for the next generation. That kind of explains our situation here. I thought I had blogged about this before and I was reminded the other day that no one really knew our story.

Anyhow, Jackson is having huge issues sleeping and WILL NOT take solids or even a bottle. I am still breastfeeding him as his only source of nutrition. I know that a lot of his sleep issues stem from me not being able to give him enough for his body to function on. Poor guy. We are going to try some carrots today. Any other mom's have this issue? What has worked for you?

Time for the hair color to come out. More later I assume.

Excited...but feeling guilty...

Haha, seriously, isn't that how every mom feels when she gets to do something for herself? Ken got me a spa gift card, and today I am taking advantage of it. First, a waxing (ouch!, not relaxing, but hey, its worth it after its over), a massage and facial, hair cut, deep conditioned and scalp massage, colored and styled, then mani pedi's all with one of my best friends. Sooo excited, but I hate that gut feeling that I have a MILLION things to do and I am "wasting" time at the spa. Hopefully the massage bliss will take away all the guilt, but for now, I am feeling bad about leaving the kiddos behind with Aunt Carrie and Mamaw Smith. Anyhow, just was checking up on blogs quickly and thought I would post. Anyone else have those feelings?

Quarter Life Crisis

Well, 26 years ago on this day, my mom came off bedrest to deliver me a month and 6 days early. I was supposed to be a Valentines baby, but there I was, January 8th at 5:57 in the morning.

Who would have thought that 26 years later, I would give my mom 4 grandchildren all in 2 years time. I am not sure what I thought my life would be at 26, but it has slightly freaked me out a bit, thinking of all the things I wanted to have accomplished by now. Don't get me wrong! My life is like a fairy tale (sometimes)! 4 beautiful children, a wonderful husband, a house that is completely ours, and a job that I love, even if my 6 years of schooling has nothing to do with it. I would love to have done more traveling or even just been a little more irresponsible sometimes, but I love my life. Who would have thought that in my 26 years I would have accomplished all of these great things, completely unplanned. God laughs when you make plans. We are surely the case.

Ken and I met April 2002, and started dating January 4th, 2003. We got married Jan 7th, 2006 and started trying to get pregnant nearly right after the wedding day. After moving to the "south", we bought a beautiful house overlooking the river with a big yard, horsebarn and a wrap around porch. We are still remodeling, but its a process. (I will post pictures of our bathroom remodel that we are finishing hopefully this weekend soon!) We welcomed Gia to our lives in August of 2008 after a lot of trying and fertility treatments, adopted Jackson in April of 2009 and in May of 2009 welcomed our twins Noah and Violet as a wonderful surprise that we hadn't planned. It is amazing how God works and I will agree with one of my fellow bloggers, the twists and turns of this path of life could have led us in another direction entirely if anything small would have changed.

I will say that I feel like I have SOOOO much more to accomplish, things that I thought I would have thought that I would have done already. I better get cracking! I don't really like the whole New Years resolution business, but I do know that I still have a LOT of baby weight to get off, so I joined a gym that is 24 hours, so now I don't have an excuse. I have already lost about 5 pounds, hopefully it will stay off!

I have a night photoshoot for an engagement session. Sooo much fun. Overlooking the skyline tonight. I will try to post those with consent from the couple. I need to get ready because it is almost dark (and it is not even 6:00!!!) Happy Birthday Jennifer!

sdg